Thursday, October 21, 2010

Revising, Revising, Revising

I think I just figured out why this "I have an agent" thing still hasn't sunk in, even days later -- it's partly because things feel the same as they did before. I find myself in the position of working. Hard. Of taking (very helpful) notes from an agent and incorporating them to the best of my ability into the manuscript -- to make them smooth and natural. Not an easy task. In fact, quite tedious. Oh, and I also have to manage to go to faculty meetings, grade papers, and hold down a full-time teaching job at the same time, lol.

In other words, I'm working. Not sitting back and drinking champagne (well, I don't drink champagne, anyway), or out celebrating with friends or kicking back and relaxing. In fact, my work has ramped up so much in the past few days that I have very little free time, if any.

And before you shake your head at me and accuse me of complaining, or maybe feeling sorry for myself -- just know that I'm not, and that I don't. Firstly, because I know how fortunate I am to be in this position (and I know how many years it took!). And secondly, because this is work I do gladly. It's work I ADORE. I'd rather edit/write than just about anything else. It's hard, hard mental labor, but it's also (to put it into a nauseating cliche) a labor of love.

So, back to my main point -- I haven't really had time to digest the fact that I have an agent. And yes, I still catch myself thinking that he'll email me and say he's changed his mind - that he doesn't want to represent me anymore. I know that won't happen (he's so enthusiastic about my book!), but having experience Rejected Writer's Syndrome for years, it's difficult to make myself believe it's real.

Maybe one of these days, when I actually look up from my keyboard for a few seconds, I'll start to believe


  1. First, congratulations :-) I clearly missed the agent post.

    Good luck with the edits. It's understandable that work only ramps up. As an unpublished, unagented author, we do what we can, but with an agent, you are finally "In the business" trying to make sure the book will compete with all the other books. No wonder it's hard work.

    However, I am thrilled for you. :-)

  2. I missed the agent post too! congratulations! That's awesome!

    Good luck with all the revision. I've heard that it's not necessarily how you think it'll be once you get an agent. Not that you regret it, but I guess because you go from working for yourself to working for someone else, basically. With deadlines and stuff.

    Anyway, good luck! This is fantastic news!

  3. Thanks, y'all!! Dolly - great point, about being "in the business" and competition. This is all so new to me that I'm having trouble viewing my writing from a new angle.

    April, thanks! Yes, that's exactly the feeling - just...different. Odd, almost. Not the feeling you really expect.

    I think another reason I'm a little more "calm" about all this is because I know that having an agent STILL doesn't guarantee publication - and - I'll definitely be experiencing rejection, too, as part of that process. My journey to getting an agent has definitely prepared me for that aspect of it, *giggle*

  4. Oh, and this blog has been really wonky the past few days. Some of the entries are even out of order - weird!

  5. I know EXACTLY how you feel. I'm in the same boat right now. I just got an agent who loves the project yet am working on the edits and am so scared she'll just say, 'sorry, it's not working/it's not good enough' etc.

    Good luck with the edits! You'll do fine :)

  6. Congrats on your agent, Elle! Yeah, isn't it weird, how it's SO hard to accept that someone actually likes our work and wants to get it sold? lol I mean, I've always HOPED it would happen, but I'm just so used to hearing "no," or to being "realistic" about my odds that I guess I never fully believed it could happen.

    Good luck wiht yours too!